(Contrary to any impression that you may have about the title, the body of this article is related to law. Many of our readers may not be able to relate to the post, but considering that there are those who face — and will face — the same predicament, this post deserves a space here. This post is submitted by a contributor who goes by the name of “anday_garutay”. The opinions expressed are entirely that of the said author.)
My biggest, most recent frustration was when I didn’t pass the U.P. entrance exam.
When the results was posted on the net, I immediately looked up for my name but to my utter despair — it wasn’t there. I felt my body go stiff and my hand went cold and sweaty as I was ‘Refreshing’ the page, wishing it was just the internet connection’s fault that said page was on error and my name wasn’t appearing where it’s supposed to be.
It wasn’t the damn internet’s fault.
When the realization dawned on me, I felt what most probably is a hand-slap me. Hard. On the face. And with that, my dreams and ambitions were instantly flushed down the toilet of eternal oblivion. I could imagine my dreams floating in the murky waters of the sewers and sink somewhere in its unfathomable depths of misery.
Aside from U.P., the only school where I took an entrance exam at is U.E. wherein the course I applied for is Nursing. I most certainly do not like to become a nurse and predictably fly off to another country to earn dollars. I have nothing against nurses but I am not ‘thrilled’ to become one. Something about my ideals regarding patriotism insists on stubbornly stereotyping ‘nurses’ as traitors.
As I said, I miserably failed and have nowhere to go to but my other option which I wished was not the only option back then.
I said ‘sayonara’ to my dream school and U.P.’s dress code – which I believed isn’t necessary considering that there is no policy regarding the dress code, and mentally prepared myself for having to wear the demented, all-white uniform which I detest since I spent years in an all-girl’s Catholics school (where girls wear their skirts 2 inches below the knee, not wear any hair accessory aside from blue, white and black, button their shirts from the back and PIN the ‘necktie’) looking forward to the time where I’d no longer have to be slaved by the authority’s fashion statement, or rather, lack of it.
I spent my days mentally mourning over the fact that I will inevitably become a nurse, blaming only myself for what befell me. I knew I deserved it because I didn’t prepare myself quite well on the Math portion, which is my ultimate waterloo. I got a depressing grade of 60 in that portion while everything else was 90+.
My parents comforted me by saying that everything that I’m going through is part of God’s (oh-so) grand plan for me in the future.
I prayed and prayed for a miracle and said miracle appeared in the form of my grandfather who went on errands to negotiate with U.P.’s school authorities regarding the results and inquiring about the possibility of my entering ANY decent pre-law course with a grade which isn’t quite attractive in comparison to others who achieved greater.
I prayed and waited for days (which felt like gazillion years) for any developments but weeks had passed and the result was still the same. With each return, I would only slump my shoulders and ask God for a miracle.
God didn’t grant me a miracle. Instead, he granted me a new option.
It was my father who introduced me to the idea of taking an exam at San Beda College, Mendiola. My first reaction was a ‘huh’-accompanied by a big,fat question mark popping on top of head. Its very existence and location was nowhere in my mind until it was mentioned to me by my father.
I wasn’t enthusiastic until he comforted me with the knowledge that it is one of the best law school in the country. He said that, despite the fact that most bar topnotchers are from the more prominent schools of U.P. or Ateneo, San Beda is well known for molding lawyers rather than topnotchers with its unarguably high passing rate.
Right now I’m taking up Legal Management and am currently enjoying my education in San Beda College. I’m thankful that I didn’t pass. If I passed, I would’ve taken up just any course (all courses are pre-law) as long as it is within U.P.’s premises. Heck, I would’ve taken Fisheries if it meant I could call myself a U.P. student. I would’ve studied there just because it is my dream school and it wouldn’t matter which course I take as long as I am among the prided ‘Iskolar ng Bayan’.
God humbled me by not granting my request. He did not let me pass to make me fully aware of my arrogance and overly-confident nature. He made me realize that perseverance is more rewarding than merely relying on an Above Average I.Q. He lead me to ‘The Road Less Traveled’ and I appreciate that I arrived in San Beda for my pre-law course.
I’m no longer the lazy-ass I once was and I’m no longer the person who would simply sit down and pray for a miracle to happen. God didn’t ‘not grant’ me anything. On the contrary, he granted me something far better — a concrete perspective on my future.