SO YOU WANT AN ANNULMENT? Of course you do! Thanks to him you’re physically, emotionally and mentally abused. You’re tired of working your butt off, earning a living to put food on the table while he goes squandering his paycheck on booze and cheap women. Enough is enough, right? So you pack your bags, your kid, even your cat and left. But still, if he had gone after you, you would have given him a second chance. After all, there is no divorce in the Philippines and you’re married to the pig! But did he go running after you? Hell, no! Instead he celebrated his newfound freedom. No more wifey to ask him where he’s been when he’s supposed to be looking for a job. Why would he care if you leave? There’s still his mom to care for him and as for sex he can get that anywhere.

Yep…that’s my fairy tale. No living happily ever after.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I made a grave mistake of marrying my ex-husband we’ll call under the pseudonym, Manoy. After the separation, I vowed never to trust another man again. If men can use women for pleasure, why can’t women, right? But I wasn’t ready to be a slut. What’s the next best thing? ON-LINE DATING. At least in the chatroom, these men don’t have any other choice but to talk. Plus, I can be anybody I want to be on the internet. Ahhhh…..the power of the internet is in my hands. Dating has never been so much fun!

I should be thankful Manoy didn’t try to get me back after I left him. If he had, I wouldn’t have met the man who will restore all my faith in the opposite sex. Eventually, I met my fiancé, on-line, in one of the penpal websites. We will call my “My Teddy” J He swept me away with his intelligent words, honesty and sincerity. Plus he wanted to meet me. He was willing to travel halfway around the world, where foreigners are being kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf to meet me. Now…that, is something.

We fell in love and pretty soon we knew that we wanted to be together. One problem. Although I’ve been living as a single mother for two years when we met, I am still legally married to Manoy. No way My Teddy is going to live here in the Philippines. He can’t get a job here, he won’t survive the weather and most important of all, he has an 8-year-old son he will miss terribly. The only solution is for me and my son to join him in the UK. Here is where the annulment comes in. So many have offered advise on how to get me to the UK. To go to the UK as a tourist and then divorce Manoy there is the most popular. Apparently, it would be easier to go there as a tourist and then disappear than to actually file for an annulment. But My Teddy won’t have that. We both want everything to be legal and I definitely will not leave without my son. My Teddy is willing to pay whatever it cost to get me an annulment but first, he has to go back to the UK.

So off I went to see a lawyer and I have good-naturedly enumerated his advice for all you people still reading this :

1/ GROUNDS – PSYCHOLOGICALLY INCAPACITATED

This is the ONLY one that works. I won’t bother explaining why. If one of you is loony then it’s unfair for the other one to be in the marriage. But there’s a catch to it. It has to be proven that the lunacy had been there even before the marriage.

2/ IT HAS TO BE UNCONTESTED

The reason why annulments drag on is that one party will file a counter affidavit. Because the Philippine Family Code’s mission is to “preserve the Filipino family”, a counter affidavit is seen as an indication that the marriage can still be saved. This also means, I had to go see Manoy to convince him that an annulment is best for us, more for him, because he already has a girlfriend. At that time, he doesn’t know I have My Teddy. He’s got to gain more from it to make him agree. More than anything else, he’s going to get an annulment absolutely free. I agreed to cover all expense. Because I know that he will never admit that he is the cause of the break-up and that he will never agree to be the loony party, I had to be the respondent to the case and because I’m the respondent, I can guarantee that it will definitely be UNCONTESTED. Now, why would I file a counter-affidavit, right?

3/ PROOF THAT THERE WAS NO COLLUSION

The court will want to know that the annulment is not scripted. That is why it is important that the respondent never show his or her (in my case, my face) in court. They don’t want to make it too obvious that they were not really following proper court procedure. Later on I will tell you that this is all bs!

4/ MONEY TALKS….BIG TIME

One year after we took the first three items into consideration, and the case was still sitting at someone’s desk gathering dust. My lawyer, upon my instructions, “secretly” talked to the court clerk and asked him exactly how much it is going to take to get the annulment over and done with. Take note : the court clerk acts as the spokesperson for the judge and everybody else involved in that case. That way, if someone decides to squeal on them, the top guys don’t get into trouble. It was at this point that my lawyer was given a figure, 100 thousand pesos to get it final by December. It was October that time.

The 100 Thousand pesos will pay for the judge, solicitor general and initial investigator, everybody involved in the case. This will say that there was no collusion and that there are no objections to the annulment. So didn’t I tell you this was all bs?

5/ GAMBLE

Now, I’ve never gambled in my life. I was ready to back out. I was sure it was a scam. It will all be under the table. That means no receipts involved. It’s not my money I’m spending here, it’s My Teddy’s, his hard-earned money and he is not exactly rich, you know. But he said go for it. If it’s a scam then we lost a big amount of money and then we will have to think of another way to get you to the UK but if they turn out to be true to their word, then we won’t have any more problems. That’s when I know he really loves me.

The court finally pulled through and delivered their end of the bargain. My annulment case was over just one month after the pay-off. I should have thought about offering the grease money much much earlier! All in all, we spent P175 thousand for the annulment. Now, because of my annulment, my lawyer and the court are the best of buddies. My lawyer can give anybody an annulment in just one month for Two hundred fifty thousand pesos (P250,000.00). That’s right! It’s now as easy as buying aspirin at the drugstore.

So where am I now?

I am now in the process of waiting for my son’s and my UK visa. Two years ago when my fiancé and I started to live together, he took the time to register himself at the British Embassy and myself as the person responsible for him while he’s here. He took the time to know the people who might help things easier for me for when the time comes for me to file my application. He went back to the UK and did everything required to show that he has the means to take care of both my son and I and that means a proper home, a well-paying stable job and a fat bank account. He sent me letters every month, which I kept safe and he did the same for all his phone bills. He calls me every week. In the two years he’s been in the UK, he’s come to visit me four times, three weeks each time, not counting the 4-months he stayed here with me hoping we could wait out the annulment together. Our two-year relationship is well document and there is no reason to doubt that we are for real.

I’m now hoping we don’t encounter any more problems. We have gone through a lot. We’re in love and just want to be together. I hope that if I write another article it will be about my life as wife of my nice Brit guy in the UK. So….wish me luck and I’ll keep you posted.

Issue: How can I obtain legal divorce, as a Filipino, here in the Philippines with its present laws?

1. I can change my Christian religion to any religion at anytime because No less than Section 5 of the Bill of Rights of the 1987 Constitution declares, thus:

“Section 5. No law shall be made respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever be allowed. No religious test shall be required for the exercise of civil or political rights.”

2. Since our marriage goes wrong, I can settle with my spouse on the prospect of divorce, its arrangements on our common properties together with custody our child or children.

3. For purposes of divorce, We or I, will convert my religion to Islam so that I can avail divorce as provided under Presidential Decree 1083, which only applies to all Muslim-Filipinos.

4. Under PD 1083, we have 7 grounds for divorce to choose from depending on the situation.

5. After converting, We will Petition for Divorce in a Sharia’h Court pursuant to our settlement or arrangement on our children and properties.

6. Then it is done, WE ARE DIVORCED and we will then convert again to Christian for the purpose of marrying again.

I filed a petition for annulment and my lawyer told me that the a favorable deicsion was granted and that late june 2008. im still waiting for the final decree to be sent to me (im an ofw) he told that he will send it but that was over a month ago and ive been following it up and he wont reply to my text messages or ignore my phone calls. my question is how long will it take for the decree to be issued or released? does it take time to go through nso? waiting for the decree is frustrating and upsetting. i really have to change my status and name soon to save me from doing so much paper work over here, now that im going to do my masters and the uk has introduced the national id. im hoping that i have changed my name and status before next month.

Your response is highly appreciated.

Regards,
Pamela

I have a question regarding my annulment case. I filed an annulment last year and was denied 2 months ago because of lack of evidence to prove that my wife is psycholigically incapacitated. My question is that if she did not attend all hearings and did not contest whatever I filed against her, should it be enough evidence that for her absence, all that I told the court is true??? Is her absence also signifies admission of everything??? I filed a motion for reconsideration last month and still waiting for the decision.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks and Regards

Respectfully yours,
Ms. Desperada

I need help. This is my story and I sincerely hope you would take the time to read it.

My mother and father fell out of love back in 1992. Since then, my mother moved to the states as a TNT, she somehow got a divorce there and got married again to another Filipino with US citizenship, the same man who petitioned for her. It’s complicated, I know. But I’m just telling it how it is.

My mother and father haven’t made any contact at all for the succeeding years.

Meanwhile, during those 14 years, my father here in the Philippines has remained silent. He knew about my mother’s marriage but decided to do nothing out of respect. That’s the kind of man he is.

14 years have past. My mother is on her way for a citizenship since the US gave her a chance. It is still being processed at the moment. My father met someone new and is interested in remarrying. He wanted to file for an annulment but is confused in what to do to obtain it.

Is there any law that may help him with filing the annulment but at the same time won’t get my mother in trouble?

Hoping for your time and patience,

iansheng

ian_sheng@yahoo.com

I need your comment on my predicament. I would like to get married and requested for a CENOMAR. However, results came back that I was married since 1993. The problem is, I have not gotten married at all. My previous girlfriend had a problem before when we were both in the middle east. In my kindness, I allowed her to use my name to secure a marriage certificate in manila thru her mom otherwise she will be jailed for getting pregnant out of marriage. Her mom used to work in the city hall. All along, i thought the certificate was a fake one. Is it possible that this marriage is valid? How can i have a marriage without any participation on my part? How can i sort this problem? Please help! I have not seen the ex girlfriend since 1996 and does not know where to find her.

How soon can I have this re-validated? Thank you very much!

I entered into marriage in 2001 and have two kids, ages 7 and 4. In 2004, my wife was hospitalized due to abortion. She was then diagnosed with ectopic preganancy which during that time, I knew what she did to the supposed to be 3rd child but i kept secret about it to my family. That’s the start of misunderstanding and irreconcilable differences between the two of us and I was not happy anymore after her hospitalization. In 2006, I left my family and decided to be separated. Could you please advise me on how i should be going through this to settle the issue and make the legalities (that is if i can file a legal separation or annulment) (whichever is as i am currently here in abroad?

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much for having a much needed forum like this. I hope you can shed some light on my queries.

I am a Muslim Filipino working here in the Middle east. I want to marry a woman who was previously a Christian but converted to Islam. She was also previously married. There are two points I want to raise.

First, as you know in Islam, a Muslim woman cannot marry a non Muslim man. Now that she is already a Muslim filipino what would happen to the status of her previous marriage?

Second, she has been separated from her previous husband for 5 years even before she converted to Islam. He hasn’t been supporting her and her three children but he doesn’t agree for the annulment of their marriage. She has tried several times to convince him to annul the marriage but he refused it while at the same time he is already living and cohabiting with another woman (or women).

I thank you in advance.

Mr. Al